DAY 2

Dear Retina,
Today, I went to Devi Eye Hospital. Amma had told me that I have to get my eyes checked because it had been a while and that once she finishes with the usual test with the Snellen Chart and then to use different lenses to check if my vision gets any better. Couple of minutes later, the really ind doctor told me that I could continue to use the same glasses cause my eyesight had barely changed.

I proceeded tell her about my issues with dim light vision. She said she'll need to test the inside of my eye and I'd need my pupils to be dilated. So I went back out, had drops of a liquid dropped into my eye and then waited for 45 minutes before my doctor could call me. When I went back in, one more tests (one with a bright light that I don't yet know the name off and could potentially be called an ophthalmoscopy). She then said that she suspects I have Retinitis Pigmentosa (RP) and should meet a retinal specialist as quickly as I can. When I asked her if it was serious, she said its a genetic disorder but thats all she can tell me for now.

I remember leaving the hospital worried out of my mind, anxious and completely blinded by the Indian summer sun (dilated pupils make you ultra sensitive to light). I called Amma immediately and told her what the doctor had said. She cut the call to go research the disorder while I called Meghna and asked her to research the disorder while she was on the phone with me (my vision wasn't good enough to read words yet) and she read the words "degenerative genetic disorder" and my heart sunk. I didn't fully understand the issue at hand but I cut the call then and kept replaying those words n my head as I rode the auto home.

That evening Amma and me sat down to a conversation about how RP is a disorder that effects the cells in the retina, pretty much killing it. Sorry to tell you Retina, but you're slowly dying and I'm slowly losing my vision because of that. The unfortunate thing is that I have no-one to blame except genetics...so Genes, if you ever read these...I hope you have a valid reason for all of this.

Anyway...thats the first official time that a label has been put on our relationship Retinaand I'm sorry it's such a bad one. A hospital visit will be scheduled soon and I'll keep you updated.

Much love,
Slightly Anxious Heart 

DAY 1

Dear Retina,
Amma and me went to a theatre today. Wonderwoman was what we had chosen to watch. The reviews that preceded it were amazing. "Gal Gaddot was truly great," they said. So it only seemed right that we should watch it too.

As interesting as a review of the movie would be, this is not going to be one. Today, I tell you of the first time that I got a little worried about you. Not you specifically. But you, Lens, Cornea, Pupil, Brain, etc. We had splurged little and gotten gold class tickets. Do you know what one of the perks of gold class tickets are? Lots of footspace. I unfortunately didn't enjoy the experience of discovering the incredible space because....wait for it....I couldn't see it. I couldn't see anything and the light from the advertisements playing on the screen did nothing. So I found myself clinging to Amma and walking to my seat like I would if there was just enough space for one person. She was really surprised by my behaviour and talked to me about what I can and can't see. Resolutions for a doctors check up were made with utmost urgency before the call for the national anthem was made.

Sure, it wasn't the first time I felt helpless in the dark and it wasn't a big incident. But hey...nobody promised a dramatic beginning. If you'd much rather I talk about the movie...here's all I have to say. Go watch it. It's as good as they say it is.

Much love,
The creative part of Brain